Marilyn Monroe & Monty Python

Today, I checked up on Facebook and saw a quote on my sister Phoebe's status that really struck on something golden.

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~Marilyn Monroe.

You know, I think this quote fits both me and my sissy perfectly, along with several other women I know. And you know what else? People that disagree, are completely bullshit. Elvis, Brandon, you're bullshit. Nathan, Steven, Aidan, you're bullshit. Caitlin, Luna, you're bullshit.

It's true. We're awesome. And if you don't think so, well, you suck goats. :)

And as for me, Phoebe, Mom, Josh, and the rest of us amazing people. . . We have our own quote, from the movie Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life:

"And pray there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cause there's bugger
all down here on earth."

Love you guys.

Love, Pai

The Life of an Emo Teen Girl

My name is Paige Avril Swift, and I have been living with undiagnosed depression (and, from what I've been told by my ex-boyfriends, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder) since I was 14.

I've never known my father, and my mother abandoned me when I was 2 years old to go live a life of marijuana and lesbianism; I was raised by my controlling grandmother and have a hate for her that burns like fire in hell.

I came to IRC in 2008 in search of friendship and love. I was cast out by many and called a slut, attention whore, and so much more. I nearly lost my life in those days; but in spite of that I gained more than I'd ever dreamed: I gained a family.

In the year and a half I have been online, I have "adopted" parents, siblings, uncles, and children. These people have kept me alive.

I am 16 now, and while I still struggle through life, I am better now than I was. I credit my life and whatever happiness I have to those adoptive family members and friends who have stood by me and gave me more love than I had ever believed possible.

In later posts, I will address issues of depression, emotions, love, loss, and other issues facing people like me. I will also use this blog as a personal diary to let people know my emotions as I go through life. This blog is not meant to whine about my emotions, or to draw sympathy, but rather to publicize my story in hopes of helping others in my situation, even if it's just to let them know they're not alone, and to thank those who have helped me through the tough times in my life.

You'll never know how much you mean to me.


Love, Pai