Dontcha just hate it when I'm so awesome I can't hardly stand it?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Anger, Love, and the Future
Hey kids. I haven't blogged in a while, and I'm a bit rusty. So, without further adieu, let's rock this thing.
Since my last post, I have had a lot of bat shit thrown in my general direction. But I was never allowed to fight back. I mean, after all, for not to enjoy fully every heartbreak, that's some sort of crime!
A so-called "family member" I hadn't seen since Christmas 2008 has a stroke. I visit him in the hospital, and he doesn't even have enough appreciation for me to call and let me know he was going home.
Be happy about that, PaiPai.
My most recent ex tells me that, when we were together, while I was making excuses for him, making myself believe that he did care for me, he was just busy. . . . He didn't want to tell me how he was feeling either. I suppose I didn't deserve to know.
Smile anyway, Paigey.
My grandmother. Well, do I even need to explain her?
Revel in the beauty of it, Paigester.
And the future doesn't look so bright either, except for one thing. One beautiful, delightful, perfect thing.
When I think of what career I might have, I see myself working hard and never having time for the things I enjoy. I see myself hating my job and my life.
When I think of myself in a relationship, I see me getting dumped again, like always, and trying to deal with the pain.
But when I think of me with my friends, I see everything falling into place. I see my sisters, brothers, mom, daughter, and all my adoptive family and friends; this tight-knit group, like a spider's web, intertwining pieces that stay together and stay strong, even when they're hanging by a tiny string.
I see myself happy. I see everything I ever wanted.
And that, kids, is what keeps me going.
Since my last post, I have had a lot of bat shit thrown in my general direction. But I was never allowed to fight back. I mean, after all, for not to enjoy fully every heartbreak, that's some sort of crime!
A so-called "family member" I hadn't seen since Christmas 2008 has a stroke. I visit him in the hospital, and he doesn't even have enough appreciation for me to call and let me know he was going home.
Be happy about that, PaiPai.
My most recent ex tells me that, when we were together, while I was making excuses for him, making myself believe that he did care for me, he was just busy. . . . He didn't want to tell me how he was feeling either. I suppose I didn't deserve to know.
Smile anyway, Paigey.
My grandmother. Well, do I even need to explain her?
Revel in the beauty of it, Paigester.
And the future doesn't look so bright either, except for one thing. One beautiful, delightful, perfect thing.
When I think of what career I might have, I see myself working hard and never having time for the things I enjoy. I see myself hating my job and my life.
When I think of myself in a relationship, I see me getting dumped again, like always, and trying to deal with the pain.
But when I think of me with my friends, I see everything falling into place. I see my sisters, brothers, mom, daughter, and all my adoptive family and friends; this tight-knit group, like a spider's web, intertwining pieces that stay together and stay strong, even when they're hanging by a tiny string.
I see myself happy. I see everything I ever wanted.
And that, kids, is what keeps me going.
Love, Pai
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
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