Yeah, I know I'm insane. I'm emo, I'm probably psychopathic, and I'm just plain weird. But for the first time in my life. . . I honestly don't care. I really, really, don't give a fuck about it anymore. There's nothing about me I care about. The only things I care about now are the few friends and family who I still trust and who still give me reason to trust them.
I've learned that the only thing you can ever really care about, are those people who will never let you down. Once you start investing your emotion elsewhere. . . you're gonna get hurt. Bad. Because the truth is, the others you care about don't care about you.
When you give your heart to the wrong person, you get lied to, hacked, broken hearted, kicked to the curb, used, and eventually thrown away and forgotten.
That happened to me. And when it did, I fought back. I fought back until it damn near killed me. I lied and cheated right back at the people who lied to and cheated me. I let go of some of the people I loved most. . . but would never do anything but hurt me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. . . and I think it hurt worse than anything they could've done.
The only way to deal with that, I find, is to stop caring, and hope that you chose the right friends to trust with your heart. And if I didn't. . . Well I just hope I did.
But no matter what happens, I'm still who I am.
Love, Pai...
The crazy emo bitch.
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